The Twisted World of Fiber, Hooks, Needles, Wheels and Dating after Widowhood

This is my story, and I'm sticking to it. Warts and all. I wanted to call it 'Seriously? WTF?', but that doesn't quite explain it all. Or does it?

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Another ribbing project

I am making yet another scarf.  The BF was watching me make his beautiful black alpaca scarf, and asked who it was for.  I said him, and he said he thought he asked for red.  Sigh…….  Why would you ask for a black hat and a red scarf?  So……………….  I have 3 skeins of Knit Picks Swish in red, and am making his scarf from that, but working on it in stealth mode.  It is a cool 3x2 ribbing that I will wire block to have the ribs stand apart.  Then he can throw it in the washing machine and panic when it dries back to it’s original shape.  I will enjoy that.  lol  I am also making a ribbed hat for the older nephew and The Boy’s girlfriend.  The smaller hat started out on dpns, but I am going to convert it to magic loop, because I think it goes much faster for me.
                We are supposed to be closing on The Boy’s house today, but the lawyer hasn’t come up with the exact closing costs yet, the seller hasn’t proved that he completed all repairs we agreed on, and the underwriter is fucking insane.  It is not good enough that they have signed gift letters from me for what I am giving toward the down payment.  Nor is it good enough that they have front and back copies of the checks deposited into his account.  They want statements showing that I actually had the money in the account.  Fine- I gave them all that.  Now they want a statement showing the money actually came out of that account?  WTF?  Seriously!  The checks show where it was drawn from- they have statements with more than enough money in the account.  And the money is not coming from a regular bank account.  It is life insurance proceeds in an account with Prudential- who apparently has never heard of the internet, let alone a fax machine.  Grrrrrrr!  It takes them a week to do anything, and will only send stuff through postal mail.  It took speaking to 3 people for them to agree to send out a mini-statement showing the last 2 checks I wrote for this crap actually came from that account.  Now we wait.

Monday, November 15, 2010

A Case of the Blahs

Since Friday, I have been hit with a case of the blahs.  I can’t seem to shake it, no matter what I do.  I went to the shore house on Friday night to do some cleaning out and fixing up.  On Saturday, I was able to shake off this feeling for a few hours by installing a tub surround and a new vinyl floor in the bathroom- myself!  (pix to follow) But by 10:00 Saturday night it was back.  I think it’s a combination of the anniversary of The Husband’s passing, The Daughter Figure being away at school for her 20th birthday, The Boy closing on his house (supposedly) next week, and not seeing The BF since last Wednesday. 
I really need to get my act together, as this is a busy week- book club tonight (don’t tell anyone, but I didn’t read the book- I don’t even know the name of it)  lol, The BF is coming tomorrow for dinner and shoe shopping (for him), and I am going to try to drag him to meet my knitting group at Starbucks, under the guise of just getting a coffee.  Bbbwwwaaaahhhhhh!!!!  On second thought, I think I’ll ask him if he is ready to meet them.  They can be more overwhelming (in a good way) than my actual family.  J On Wednesday, I have my spinning guild meeting, and I need to have 2 bobbins of something spun up so we can practice plying.  Which is a good thing, because I suck at plying.  Lolol  I may have to split something  already on bobbins to do this with.  I need to go to the grocery store, return things at Kohl’s and Old Navy, and drop off my dry cleaning.  Oh, and fold the laundry.  And clean my death-trap of a bedroom.  And find my kitchen table, which is buried under tons of papers, knitting patterns and yarn. 
I think I’ll just go home and knit.

Monday, November 8, 2010

A Closing?

The Boy has a closing date(s).  Anywhere from November 23rd to December 1st.  WTF?  I’ve closed on 2 other houses and have never been this far in without a firm closing date!  The Title search was started on the 2nd.  A Bulk Sale notice was sent to the State.  It takes 10 days for them to respond, which in NJ terms, probably means 3 weeks.  Sigh……  Did you know that if you purchase a house from a seller that was renting out the property, a Bulk Sale notice goes to the State?  If not, the PURCHASER can be held liable for taxes not paid on the rent collected.  How fucked up is that?  How is a purchaser supposed to know that a seller was renting the property?  Only in NJ! 
            I have to start boxing up stuff for The Boy to take to his new house.  He is getting ½ the glasses and mugs in the cabinet.  He can have ½ the towels, and I think I have dishes in the basement.  He has a nice set of couches and a big screen tv to take. He also has not one, but TWO drum sets.  I have a 2nd couch he can have for the basement REC room if he wants, an old 19” tv, an end table for the living room, and he has a coffee table at my sister’s apartment.  I will give him a starter amount of utensils and a utensil holder for the drawer.  I have 10 gajillion pots and pans he can choose from, and carving knives galore.  He can take his bedroom dressers, which were my brothers.  That makes them about 40 years old.  If I were him, they’d go in one of the guest rooms.  He can also take my old kitchen table.  I just don’t have any chairs for it anymore.  lol   And The BF is donating his old table they can use on the sun porch.  The Boy has my Grandmother’s Craftmatic Adjustable full size bed.  Now tell me, what 26 year old has a Craftmatic Adjustable?  lmao   The frame is great, but the mattress is crap, so that would also do well in a spare bedroom.  I will be getting a new King size bed to accommodate The BF and the menagerie, so The Boy can have my Queen if he wants, or he can buy himself a completely new bedroom set- mattress and all.

Saturday, November 6, 2010


        What a great day.  I cleaned The BF's apartment and took his stuff to the laundromat.  I don't think I've been in a laundromat in 20 years.  Some things never change.  lol  I put most of his stuff in a giant washer, then put the towels and other stuff in a smaller one.  Then I waited.  And knit. And listened to everyone speaking Spanish.  And knit some more.  Top 40 playing on the radio.  Yuk.  lol  When the larger machine stopped, I opened the door and water came pouring out.  It never drained for the spin cycle.  Sigh....  The attendant was very nice, and went to get a mop while I tried to get the sopping wet clothes into the next machine.  He then got it going for me.  The. Whole. Fucking. Wash. Cycle.  AGAIN.  I cannot believe he couldn't just set it to spin.  Grrrr.  So, I knit some more.  And dried and folded the smaller load.  And wondered why I didn't drive the whole damned pile of clothes the hour and 15 minutes to my house and wash everything in my nice machine.  Couldn't have taken much longer.  :-)  When I got home, I continued the cleaning thing.  I tackled the back room, which is my computer room.  It was getting hard to find the computer, and this room is going to become the 'cat' room/man cave when The BF moves in.  There wasn't even a spot big enough on the couch in here for a cat to lay on, so I jumped in and shoveled all the shit out.  A laundry basket full of yarn, 2 bags of garbage and 3 bags of paper to recycle later, and it looks like a room again.  :-)  I wish I had a before picture. The white ceramic stove is where I keep all my spinning fiber.  And that's my Minimalist hanging over the chair.  The room is done in an Oriental motif, so ignore the Southwest pattern on the couch.  The slipcover is in the wash.

        I finished one of the three October squares that were supposed to be mailed by October 20th.  I suck.  I admit it, ok?  The second one is on the needles and half-way finished.  I am dreading the 3rd one, because she asked for it to be in fingering weight.  Seriously?  Who the fuck makes a blanket out of 12x12 fingering weight squares?  And how long will this take me to make?

Friday, November 5, 2010

Less than 2 Weeks

On November 18th, it will be one year since I lost my husband.  It doesn’t seem like it was that long ago, yet it seems a lifetime away.  The Daughter Figure and The Boy, which were so aptly named by him, take a different route to the healing than I have.  The Boy still has moments of frustration and anger.  They always got along pretty well, and did all kinds of stuff together.  He can laugh about stuff his father did and said, but does not discuss his feelings or acknowledge that he misses him.  Typical Boy. 
The Daughter Figure, on the other hand, had a different relationship with him.  For most of her life, they argued and fought.  Neither saw that they were of the same mold.  Except she has breasts.  Toward the end of her senior year in High School, they became closer.  He was so proud of her accomplishments, and her acceptance to University of Michigan.  She was away at school when he got sick, and the last time she spoke to him, he had to talk her down from a panic attack.  We didn’t know that less than 24 hours later he would be on a ventilator in an induced coma.  She beat herself up for a long time going over that last conversation because she felt that he needed her and she had been selfish.  My words could not change how she felt.  Only time has eased her pain a little.
As for me, I miss him, but not in the same way they do. We had a different kind of relationship.  After 27 years of marriage, I loved him, but was not ‘in love’ with him.  We had been through too much.  I had been hurt and disappointed too many times.  It was nothing torrid or despicable, it was just our different views of family and life and time (not) spent together.  I viewed our relationship from a different perspective than he did for a very long time.  We were old friends, and sometimes best friends, but not lovers.  That time had long passed.
  I knew from the minute the hospital called that night at 1:30am.  I knew he would not be coming home.  My grieving started 3 weeks before he died.  Maybe that made it easier when it finally did happen.  Maybe I’m too German.  Or too Russian.  Or too damaged.  I don’t know.  I stayed with him in the ICU as much as they would allow.  I didn’t want him to be alone. I owed him that much.  I talked to him about what was going on at home and at work.  I wiped away his sweat.  I combed his hair.  I stroked him arm.  But he wasn’t there.  Only his shell was there, and the sound of all the machines and the ventilator. 

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Just 3 Words

Knitted Christmas lights.

Ok, I can't just put that on here.  lol  But mark my words, I WILL be making these.  I swear.  Just as soon as I finish the 3 squares I didn't make for last month's swap, and make a hat for my sister's older kid.  And start working on the sweater(s) I want to make.  Well, I really need to finish the green one, which was to be my first knitted sweater.  It kind of got thrown in the UFO basket when I started the Minimalist.  Which I DID finish, along with 2 hats.  Sigh.........  Stupid obsessive knitting in the round.  lolol

Here is the hat I just finished for my younger nephew.  Isn't it cute?